NO ONE IS WATCHING AS CLOSELY AS YOU THINK
You've had those nights where something inside you hurts, but you can't put it into words. You sit with friends, quieter than usual, half-listening, half-hoping someone will see through it. You check your phone, smile when you should, do everything to seem fine while secretly wishing someone would call you out. You don't want to explain it. You just want someone to care enough to notice without being told. But the night ends, everyone goes home, and no one says a word. To them, you just looked tired.
YOU'RE NOT AS TRANSPARENT AS YOU BELIEVE
Here's what most people don't want to hear: outside of your parents, and sometimes not even them, no one is built to catch the small signs you think are obvious. You avoid their eyes just long enough to look okay. You smile even though your chest feels tight. You laugh at the right time so nobody asks questions. It's not that they don't care. They just don't see what you're trying to hide.
HOW TO FIX THIS
Step 1: If you want someone to care, stop waiting for them to prove it by guessing what's wrong. Say it. Because if even you can't talk about what you feel, don't expect someone who can't feel it to bring it up first.
Step 2: Check your expectations. Friends, people you spend time with, even new partners can't pick up signals you think are obvious. So unless you want to be continuously disappointed, stop holding people to a standard that only exists in your head.
SO ASK YOURSELF THIS
Who is it that you keep meaning to say something to but never do? The person you wish would notice, care, or ask but haven't actually told. Is it a family member? A close friend? Someone you're dating? Or is it perhaps more than just one person? Think about it.
If someone comes to mind, hit the yellow button or drop a comment under the post. If enough people do, I'll hint at the themes that show up most in a future post.
IMPORTANT REMINDER
Understanding this changes more than how you deal with others. It also changes how you deal with yourself. Because once you stop expecting people to read your mind, you stop punishing them for not being able to.
If you struggle with integrating this belief into your everyday life, here's a quote by Neil Strauss you can remind yourself of on a daily basis: